Banned from zoo.
Again?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
