he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
