Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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