Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
