i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
