I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
