Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
