carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
