Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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