She said her name was "party"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
