hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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