Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
