she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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