Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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