I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Randomize