Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
