So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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