I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
