Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
