I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
