You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its liver damage thursday
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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