I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i don't like sucking hair
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
