Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
