Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
