Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
