so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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