i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
