dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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