What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Be still, my beating vagina.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
