He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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