Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
