Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
