i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
