just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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