I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
