Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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