We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
