i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it because I queefed?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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