True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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