my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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