we have officially lost it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
