After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
