I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
