I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
