I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize