some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
