Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
