Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
