i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
