just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
