That's intense
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
