pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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