I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize