I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this boner is exhausting
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your penis caused this!
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