Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
