If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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