Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
