she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
