I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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