I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize