she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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