You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
